30.7.13 - Why?!

I’m running around the south of the island on trail. It’s getting pretty dark, and I know I have at least 3km more to go before I hit a road with lights. It’s OK though – if I hurry, I’ll make it in plenty of time.

But wait – why’s that small local on the path in front of me hopping nervously from foot to foot and waving her arms at me?

‘Doris’ has come up to the hills to get “some outdoor activities”. And is lost. Even though she’s lived within 5km of that spot all her life. And she has no phone, no torch, no money.

I try to give her directions to Hong Kong University, but before I can finish she pathetically says from behind her tiny round glasses, “I very scare of dark. You go this way? You take me?”

Well, who can resist the knight in shining armour routine? She was terribly frightened by the darkness, convinced she was about to step on a snake and scared she would fall in her ridiculous shoes. In coaxing her along to a lit road, the light went entirely, and I had to go on the light of my phone and my knowledge of the trail. She even rather sickly sweetly said, in deadly seriousness, as I helped her over the umpteenth puddle – “You’re my hero!”

Hahaha.

But! The funniest thing was the awkward conversation. The rescuing her from being lost bit seemed to be separate from our chat, where she was not at all shy about cutting me down…

 

Me: So you’re a student who lives next to Hong Kong U, but you don’t study there. How strange!

Doris: No. It isn’t strange.

Me: Oh. Er. Ok

Doris: So, you like live in Hong Kong?

Me: Oh yes, very much.

Doris [harshly]: You not scare of thiefs?!

Me: Thieves? Well, no, Hong Kong’s much safer than London.

Doris [dismissively]: Huh! No, is wrong, is many thief in Hong Kong.

Doris: So, you visit Ocean Park [a popular theme park here]?

Me: No, not yet, but I hear it’s great! Lots of my friends have been, it’s on my to do list! Have you been?

Doris [scoffingly]: Wah, no! Not for many year! I not a child [laughs harshly].

Me: Oh, erm. Right. But I’m nearly a tourist, so it’s OK if I go even though I’m not a tourist, right?

Doris: No.

And my personal favourite and inspiration for today’s picture and title:

Doris: So – new English baby! You happy?!
[Note – Hkers have gone Royal baby crackers too, and call it the English baby. I think the hype both here and at home is a bit weird, but I am very pleased for them and all in all it’s a happy thing. So I thought I’d play safe]

Me: Oh yes, everyone in England is very happy!

Doris [shocked]: But why?!

Me: ….Wh…Why? Well, it’s, you know, nice…?

Doris: But you pay for them, for their feeding, for their cloth…is like they are children! So why you happy, woh?

Me: Er, well, they only cost each Briton about 6 Hong Kong dollars a year you know. [jokey] Good value, hey?

Doris: Hm. Don’t know.